1
00:00:05,892 --> 00:00:08,761
♫ Ground floor: Perfumery,
stationery, and leather goods

2
00:00:08,762 --> 00:00:12,929
♫ Wigs and haberdashery,
kitchenware and food, going up

3
00:00:17,423 --> 00:00:20,411
♫ First floor: Telephones,
gents ready-made suits

4
00:00:20,412 --> 00:00:21,916
♫ Shirts, socks, ties, hats

5
00:00:22,946 --> 00:00:23,946
Enter.

6
00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:26,460
Morning, Mr. Rumbold.

7
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:29,059
The staff, as requested, 8:30 precisely.

8
00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:30,125
Excellent, excellent.

9
00:00:30,126 --> 00:00:31,295
Tell them all to come in.

10
00:00:31,296 --> 00:00:32,663
I can't tell 'em to come in.

11
00:00:32,664 --> 00:00:34,176
I mean, I'm subservient.

12
00:00:34,177 --> 00:00:36,607
If I tell 'em to come in,
I shall fracture protocol.

13
00:00:36,608 --> 00:00:39,450
I am a blue collar worker and
they is white collar workers.

14
00:00:39,451 --> 00:00:42,218
Now, a blue collar worker can
ask a white collar worker.

15
00:00:42,219 --> 00:00:44,192
But on the other hand,
a white collar worker

16
00:00:44,193 --> 00:00:46,170
can tell a blue collar worker.

17
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,800
But if they do, they have
to do it very, very nicely,

18
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,960
otherwise you get a punch of five
right up the rooter like that.

19
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,411
No, however you do it, Mr. Harmon,

20
00:00:52,412 --> 00:00:54,435
please arrange for them to come in here.

21
00:00:54,436 --> 00:00:56,185
With the greatest of pleasure.

22
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:57,769
Right, you mob, in here!

23
00:00:59,884 --> 00:01:01,272
Good morning, Mr. Rumbold.

24
00:01:01,273 --> 00:01:02,491
I hope you don't mind if we bring in

25
00:01:02,492 --> 00:01:04,162
our coffee and biscuits, sir.

26
00:01:04,163 --> 00:01:06,348
Well, I suppose it's all right.

27
00:01:06,349 --> 00:01:09,016
When I was a junior and Mr.
Prentice sat in this chair,

28
00:01:09,017 --> 00:01:10,731
I certainly would never have dreamt of it.

29
00:01:10,732 --> 00:01:13,649
Yes, we all had a great
respect for Mr. Prentice.

30
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,719
Well, in any case, don't drop the crumbs

31
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:18,809
all over the floor.

32
00:01:18,810 --> 00:01:21,451
I find if you dunk them,
they don't fuff about.

33
00:01:22,766 --> 00:01:24,399
What does fuff about mean?

34
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,401
It's what crumbs do
and you've just done it.

35
00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:31,664
Don't bother with
that now, Mr. Humphries.

36
00:01:31,665 --> 00:01:33,881
Now, today is a red letter day

37
00:01:33,882 --> 00:01:35,817
in the Grace Brothers calendar,

38
00:01:35,818 --> 00:01:38,522
for today is Young Mr. Grace's birthday,

39
00:01:38,523 --> 00:01:39,815
and you know the tradition.

40
00:01:39,816 --> 00:01:41,348
On his way up to the boardroom,

41
00:01:41,349 --> 00:01:43,960
Young Mr. Grace stops on every floor.

42
00:01:43,961 --> 00:01:47,998
As the lift gates open,
every department carols forth

43
00:01:47,999 --> 00:01:51,275
its birthday greetings by
singing Happy Birthday to You.

44
00:01:51,276 --> 00:01:53,786
This makes Young Mr. Grace very happy.

45
00:01:53,787 --> 00:01:55,448
Any questions?

46
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,725
Yes, Mr. Humphries?

47
00:01:56,726 --> 00:01:59,629
Mr. Rumbold, while I was
on my knees under your desk,

48
00:01:59,630 --> 00:02:02,359
I couldn't help noticing
something that indicated to me

49
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,972
that you must've got
dressed in a terrible hurry.

50
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:07,394
Oh really?

51
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:08,227
What was that?

52
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,675
Only a keen eye would notice it.

53
00:02:09,676 --> 00:02:10,891
Well, what was it?

54
00:02:10,892 --> 00:02:12,610
Yeah, don't keep us in suspense.

55
00:02:12,611 --> 00:02:14,531
I wish I hadn't mentioned it now.

56
00:02:14,532 --> 00:02:16,225
Well, what is it?

57
00:02:16,226 --> 00:02:17,810
You've got odd socks on.

58
00:02:19,035 --> 00:02:22,419
Mr. Prentice would
never have worn odd socks.

59
00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:25,336
Well, nobody's going
to notice my odd socks.

60
00:02:25,337 --> 00:02:28,738
- To be certain, does Mr.
Grace intend to continue

61
00:02:28,739 --> 00:02:30,719
the other well-honored tradition?

62
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:31,553
Oh yes, yes.

63
00:02:31,554 --> 00:02:34,901
We shall all be getting
our birthday bonus.

64
00:02:34,902 --> 00:02:37,130
So, what it boils down to
is that we've been called in

65
00:02:37,131 --> 00:02:40,438
at 8:30 to get a two bob bit
and hear the amazing news

66
00:02:40,439 --> 00:02:41,821
that you've got odd socks on.

67
00:02:44,793 --> 00:02:47,606
I'm not unaware of the
sarcastic note in your voice,

68
00:02:47,607 --> 00:02:50,393
Captain Peacock, but while
we're on the subject of dress,

69
00:02:50,394 --> 00:02:52,343
where are your birthday pompom dahlias?

70
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:53,756
They haven't arrived yet, sir.

71
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,005
But I made the arrangements personally.

72
00:02:56,006 --> 00:02:57,887
That's probably why
they haven't arrived.

73
00:02:58,721 --> 00:02:59,554
Don't worry, sir.

74
00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:01,084
I sent Mr. Lucas to the florist

75
00:03:01,085 --> 00:03:03,099
and told him to put them on the account.

76
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,818
You exceeded your
authority there, Peacock.

77
00:03:04,819 --> 00:03:07,273
But in the circumstances,
I shall overlook it.

78
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,850
Good heavens, he's due here at any minute.

79
00:03:08,851 --> 00:03:11,434
We'd better take our positions.

80
00:03:15,305 --> 00:03:16,716
I've got the flowers, Captain Peacock.

81
00:03:16,717 --> 00:03:18,557
Ah, quick, gentlemen, put
them in your buttonholes.

82
00:03:18,558 --> 00:03:20,792
Ladies, make your own arrangements.

83
00:03:21,627 --> 00:03:23,667
Mr. Lucas, are you out of your mind?

84
00:03:23,668 --> 00:03:27,383
These are supposed to be pompoms
and these are decoratives.

85
00:03:29,051 --> 00:03:31,280
Well, it was either that or lilies.

86
00:03:31,281 --> 00:03:32,812
And I thought in view of Mr. Grace's age,

87
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,914
lilies might not be very tactful.

88
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:38,221
If I may make a suggestion,
look, here you are.

89
00:03:38,222 --> 00:03:41,670
Short back and sides,
that should do the trick.

90
00:03:41,671 --> 00:03:42,870
No, no, no, Mr. Harmon.

91
00:03:42,871 --> 00:03:44,682
That makes it look even worse.

92
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,046
Well, at least mine won't fall out.

93
00:03:46,047 --> 00:03:47,963
I've jammed the end me knicker elastic.

94
00:03:51,515 --> 00:03:52,924
Well, I certainly don't intend

95
00:03:52,925 --> 00:03:56,004
to accommodate mine in that fashion.

96
00:03:56,005 --> 00:03:57,613
Flowers are very sensitive, you know.

97
00:03:57,614 --> 00:03:59,817
It might wilt if it found
the end stuck in your navel.

98
00:04:01,613 --> 00:04:04,858
Sir, if I might suggest a solution,

99
00:04:04,859 --> 00:04:07,323
wouldn't it be preferable
from Mr. Grace's point of view

100
00:04:07,324 --> 00:04:09,844
if, when he arrives, we
stand in front of the lift

101
00:04:09,845 --> 00:04:12,066
holding them proudly in our hands?

102
00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:13,747
That should give him
something to remember.

103
00:04:14,817 --> 00:04:15,650
Hush, hush, hush!

104
00:04:15,651 --> 00:04:17,101
They're one floor down in glassware.

105
00:04:17,102 --> 00:04:19,174
You can hear the chant.

106
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,572
♫ Happy birthday to you

107
00:04:21,573 --> 00:04:24,664
Yes, now remember today's
the customary free luncheon,

108
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,320
so we must all be in the canteen

109
00:04:26,321 --> 00:04:28,395
no later than two minutes past 1:00

110
00:04:28,396 --> 00:04:29,454
when Young Mr. Grace will,

111
00:04:29,455 --> 00:04:31,682
of course, be serving us all personally.

112
00:04:31,683 --> 00:04:33,909
Well, I hope he's quicker
than he was last year.

113
00:04:33,910 --> 00:04:36,970
By the time I got it,
my hot pot was cold pot.

114
00:04:37,805 --> 00:04:39,080
I hope the party doesn't go on

115
00:04:39,081 --> 00:04:40,530
as long as it did last year.

116
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:42,476
I mean, I missed me last bus.

117
00:04:42,477 --> 00:04:44,703
I seem to remember I
gave you a lift home.

118
00:04:44,704 --> 00:04:47,112
Yes, that's why I don't
want to miss me last bus.

119
00:04:48,805 --> 00:04:51,211
He's the only man I know
that can drive, steer,

120
00:04:51,212 --> 00:04:53,671
change gear, and he's still
got two hands left over.

121
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,889
Well, I can't stay too late.

122
00:04:57,890 --> 00:05:00,371
The man next door is
popping in every half-hour

123
00:05:00,372 --> 00:05:02,157
to keep an eye on my pussy.

124
00:05:04,575 --> 00:05:07,585
And after half past 11:00,
his wife won't let him out.

125
00:05:08,420 --> 00:05:10,045
The party starts at 8:00, as usual,

126
00:05:10,046 --> 00:05:12,288
which gives us time to have
the last dress rehearsal

127
00:05:12,289 --> 00:05:14,368
of our birthday show at 5:30.

128
00:05:14,369 --> 00:05:15,567
Quick, he's coming up!

129
00:05:15,568 --> 00:05:17,818
Places everybody, places!

130
00:05:20,332 --> 00:05:21,806
♫ This is the note we start on

131
00:05:21,807 --> 00:05:23,199
♫ To sing Happy Birthday to You

132
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,400
♫ Have you got it?

133
00:05:24,401 --> 00:05:26,863
♫ Yes, we have

134
00:05:26,864 --> 00:05:29,634
♫ And the suspense is killing us

135
00:05:33,479 --> 00:05:34,482
It's stuck!

136
00:05:34,483 --> 00:05:36,224
Nevermind, carry on.

137
00:05:36,225 --> 00:05:41,803
♫ Happy birthday to you

138
00:05:41,804 --> 00:05:45,172
♫ Happy birthday Mr. Grace

139
00:05:45,173 --> 00:05:49,310
♫ Happy birthday to you

140
00:05:49,311 --> 00:05:50,506
I'm stuck!

141
00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:52,373
We'll get the doors open.

142
00:05:52,374 --> 00:05:54,290
Harmon, pull them back.

143
00:05:57,118 --> 00:05:58,898
You all right, sir?

144
00:05:58,899 --> 00:06:02,042
Well, it's not very
often an 81-year-old man's

145
00:06:02,043 --> 00:06:05,538
stuck in the lift with
a 19-year-old secretary.

146
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,550
Of course I'm all right, shut the doors.

147
00:06:15,245 --> 00:06:16,381
Oh, Mr. Rumbold?

148
00:06:16,382 --> 00:06:17,340
Yes sir?

149
00:06:17,341 --> 00:06:19,436
My secretary has just seen something

150
00:06:19,437 --> 00:06:21,061
she'd never expected to see.

151
00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:22,676
Oh really, sir?

152
00:06:22,677 --> 00:06:24,603
Yes, you've got odd socks on.

153
00:06:30,639 --> 00:06:32,310
All right, give me those place cards.

154
00:06:32,311 --> 00:06:33,235
Here they are.

155
00:06:33,236 --> 00:06:34,594
Oh, you have written them nicely.

156
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:35,467
Oh, thank you.

157
00:06:35,468 --> 00:06:39,039
I came top at school in
joined-up handwriting.

158
00:06:40,174 --> 00:06:41,399
What was you best at?

159
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,595
I got an O level in
collecting dinner money.

160
00:06:45,282 --> 00:06:47,726
Mrs. Slocombe, Captain Peacock,

161
00:06:47,727 --> 00:06:49,310
we'll put Mr. Tebbs up at this end.

162
00:06:49,311 --> 00:06:51,367
Here, I don't wanna
sit next to Mr. Lucas.

163
00:06:51,368 --> 00:06:52,201
Why not?

164
00:06:52,202 --> 00:06:53,523
He pinches my bottom.

165
00:06:54,358 --> 00:06:55,877
I'll sit next to Mr. Lucas.

166
00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:01,923
Oh, doesn't the canteen look spotless?

167
00:07:01,924 --> 00:07:03,868
Yes, the flies are all confused.

168
00:07:03,869 --> 00:07:05,989
They're flying around; they
don't know where they are.

169
00:07:06,691 --> 00:07:07,650
Don't waste any money, do they?

170
00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:09,049
Those are last year's flowers.

171
00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:11,175
They're not, you know;
they're the year before's.

172
00:07:11,176 --> 00:07:12,366
How do you know that?

173
00:07:12,367 --> 00:07:14,837
Well, that's the one you
used to stir your tea with

174
00:07:14,838 --> 00:07:17,118
when you couldn't find your pencil.

175
00:07:17,119 --> 00:07:20,024
Those lift girls are
switching tables with us again.

176
00:07:20,025 --> 00:07:21,975
This is the one with the wonky leg.

177
00:07:21,976 --> 00:07:25,198
Now, who's got something about so big?

178
00:07:25,199 --> 00:07:26,587
I'm sorry, I can't help you.

179
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,348
Try a couple of cheese biscuits,

180
00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:32,458
guaranteed indestructible.

181
00:07:32,459 --> 00:07:33,304
Thank you.

182
00:07:33,305 --> 00:07:34,998
Not to mention the cheese.

183
00:07:34,999 --> 00:07:36,735
You can tell it's Mr. Grace's birthday.

184
00:07:36,736 --> 00:07:39,260
Look how nicely they've
decorated the edge.

185
00:07:39,261 --> 00:07:40,397
What do you mean, decorated the edge?

186
00:07:40,398 --> 00:07:42,055
Those are mice teeth marks.

187
00:07:43,616 --> 00:07:45,501
That's from the canteen trap.

188
00:07:45,502 --> 00:07:46,428
Oh, it's disgusting.

189
00:07:46,429 --> 00:07:48,123
You know, we ought to complain.

190
00:07:48,124 --> 00:07:50,562
We can't, it's free.

191
00:07:50,563 --> 00:07:51,676
I'll tell you what we'll do.

192
00:07:51,677 --> 00:07:53,157
We'll all write our initials on it

193
00:07:53,158 --> 00:07:55,885
and if we get it next
year, we'll complain then.

194
00:07:58,401 --> 00:07:59,850
Hey, this has already got some initials

195
00:07:59,851 --> 00:08:01,558
on the back here, look.

196
00:08:01,559 --> 00:08:03,114
There's a heart with an
arrow through it saying,

197
00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:05,153
"Mrs. Slocombe loves Captain Peacock."

198
00:08:06,308 --> 00:08:08,760
That was back in 1964.

199
00:08:11,011 --> 00:08:13,764
The Christmas Party cheese, yes.

200
00:08:13,765 --> 00:08:16,457
Oh, how sad, the passing of the years.

201
00:08:16,458 --> 00:08:19,184
Then young, fresh, and tasty;

202
00:08:19,185 --> 00:08:22,034
now old, tough, leathery, and rejected.

203
00:08:23,124 --> 00:08:24,878
The cheese hasn't aged too well either.

204
00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:28,258
Plates.

205
00:08:31,398 --> 00:08:32,398
Elbows.

206
00:08:36,018 --> 00:08:37,765
My lords, ladies, and gentlemen,

207
00:08:37,766 --> 00:08:39,238
be upstanding for Young Mr. Grace,

208
00:08:39,239 --> 00:08:40,485
whose birthday what it is today,

209
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:43,335
which is why you was having the free nosh.

210
00:08:45,795 --> 00:08:47,096
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

211
00:08:47,097 --> 00:08:50,093
Good afternoon, Mr. Grace.

212
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,902
Mr. Grace will now hand out

213
00:08:51,903 --> 00:08:54,602
the traditional birthday bonus.

214
00:08:54,603 --> 00:08:58,573
In the year 1893, Mr.
Grace Sr. first presented

215
00:08:58,574 --> 00:09:01,779
a silver florin to each
grateful member of his staff,

216
00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:04,704
and the custom has
continued to this very day.

217
00:09:04,705 --> 00:09:06,587
Pass them down.

218
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:09,693
Of course, in those days,
a florin was a florin.

219
00:09:09,694 --> 00:09:10,822
In these days of inflation,

220
00:09:10,823 --> 00:09:13,431
it would probably be worth about £10.

221
00:09:13,432 --> 00:09:17,270
But Young Mr. Grace doesn't
want to break with tradition.

222
00:09:17,271 --> 00:09:18,708
My lords, ladies, and gentlemen,

223
00:09:18,709 --> 00:09:21,126
Mr. Grace will now say grace.

224
00:09:22,272 --> 00:09:24,136
For what you are about to receive,

225
00:09:24,137 --> 00:09:26,740
may you be truly grateful.

226
00:09:26,741 --> 00:09:29,223
Surely sir, you mean for
what we are about to receive,

227
00:09:29,224 --> 00:09:30,508
may we be truly grateful?

228
00:09:30,509 --> 00:09:33,733
No, no, for what you
are about to receive.

229
00:09:33,734 --> 00:09:35,750
We're lunching at the
the Savoy, aren't we, dear?

230
00:09:36,922 --> 00:09:39,248
That was one of your
suggestions, Mr. Grace.

231
00:09:39,249 --> 00:09:40,872
Yes, well we don't say grace

232
00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:43,091
before the other suggestions, do we?

233
00:09:43,926 --> 00:09:45,035
I'm in good form today.

234
00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:46,422
Oh yes.

235
00:09:46,423 --> 00:09:51,005
My lords, ladies, and gentlemen,
the Grace Brothers gruel.

236
00:09:51,006 --> 00:09:54,267
This is a very moving occasion.

237
00:09:54,268 --> 00:09:56,511
It was after the last lot
of Grace Brothers gruel.

238
00:09:58,895 --> 00:10:00,568
My lords, ladies, and
gentlemen, Mr. Grace will now,

239
00:10:00,569 --> 00:10:02,044
as usual, serve the first helping

240
00:10:02,045 --> 00:10:05,295
to the most junior member of the staff.

241
00:10:06,734 --> 00:10:11,577
May I say how truly humbly
grateful I am, Mr. Grace.

242
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:18,546
May I congratulate you sir

243
00:10:18,547 --> 00:10:19,947
on getting some of it in the plate.

244
00:10:22,082 --> 00:10:24,346
My lords, ladies, and gentlemen,

245
00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:27,692
Mr. Grace will now serve
the traditional champagne.

246
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:28,600
Thank you.

247
00:10:28,601 --> 00:10:32,237
Astro Spematis, 1962,
bottled by British Railway

248
00:10:32,238 --> 00:10:34,863
and bought up as a job lot
when they went over to diesel.

249
00:10:35,698 --> 00:10:36,789
Connoisseurs prefer the diesel.

250
00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:38,290
My lords, ladies, and gentlemen,

251
00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:41,208
Mr. Grace will now remove the cork.

252
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,876
Well, this is the eighth time running

253
00:10:49,877 --> 00:10:52,485
I've not been able to open this bottle.

254
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:53,366
Nevermind.

255
00:10:53,367 --> 00:10:55,624
Put it back in the cellar;
I'll try again next year.

256
00:10:58,137 --> 00:10:59,798
See you all at the party.

257
00:10:59,799 --> 00:11:01,683
Yes, well I'm sure
we can't have more fun

258
00:11:01,684 --> 00:11:03,023
than we've already had, sir.

259
00:11:03,024 --> 00:11:04,433
Yeah, well goodbye.

260
00:11:04,434 --> 00:11:06,198
You've all done very well.

261
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,625
Thank you, Mr. Grace.

262
00:11:10,130 --> 00:11:12,154
Oh, Mr. Grace!

263
00:11:12,155 --> 00:11:13,287
Oh, I'm so sorry sir.

264
00:11:13,288 --> 00:11:14,224
Was it the noise?

265
00:11:14,225 --> 00:11:16,840
No, no, the waste, the expense!

266
00:11:16,841 --> 00:11:18,236
Do you want a doctor, sir?

267
00:11:18,237 --> 00:11:21,098
No, give me a glass
before it's all gone.

268
00:11:21,099 --> 00:11:25,356
Yes, here we are.

269
00:11:26,190 --> 00:11:27,190
Enter.

270
00:11:28,706 --> 00:11:31,187
Oh, customers all gone, Mr. Harmon?

271
00:11:31,188 --> 00:11:32,021
Yes sir.

272
00:11:32,021 --> 00:11:34,620
Mr. Humprhies said he'll be ready
to start rehearsal in a couple of minutes.

273
00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:36,953
Oh, by the way, I've got
your Humpty Dumpty outfit.

274
00:11:36,954 --> 00:11:37,954
Oh, good.

275
00:11:46,417 --> 00:11:47,924
What are the other departments doing?

276
00:11:47,925 --> 00:11:50,245
Well, I sussed out what they're
doing on the other floors.

277
00:11:50,246 --> 00:11:52,375
Haberdashery's doing buttons and bows,

278
00:11:52,376 --> 00:11:55,016
the accounting department are
doing Indian love limericks,

279
00:11:55,017 --> 00:11:56,137
and bathroom fittings,

280
00:11:56,138 --> 00:11:58,285
they're doing excerpts
from Gone with the Wind.

281
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:00,320
And as a piece de resistance,

282
00:12:00,321 --> 00:12:02,595
Young Mr. Grace has booked
a professional cabaret

283
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:04,971
to entertain us after
we done our little bit.

284
00:12:04,972 --> 00:12:07,007
Right, now if you'd like to
put this over your head, sir,

285
00:12:07,008 --> 00:12:09,018
I'll get you all ready for the occasion.

286
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:10,851
- Let's see now.
- Here we are.

287
00:12:12,062 --> 00:12:13,113
There you are.

288
00:12:13,114 --> 00:12:14,488
That's lovely.

289
00:12:14,489 --> 00:12:16,322
That's nice, isn't it?

290
00:12:17,641 --> 00:12:19,211
Well, where's Mr. Rumbold?

291
00:12:19,212 --> 00:12:20,342
Rumbold, he's here.

292
00:12:21,545 --> 00:12:22,545
Oh really, wow.

293
00:12:23,675 --> 00:12:25,467
Well, Rumbold...

294
00:12:25,468 --> 00:12:27,844
Well, good luck with the cabaret tonight.

295
00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:30,145
Come along.

296
00:12:30,146 --> 00:12:32,920
I hope Mr. Humprhies
is right about this idea.

297
00:12:32,921 --> 00:12:34,544
You know, doing a sort of ballet thing

298
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,005
with so little time to rehearse

299
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,613
seems to me rather adventurous.

300
00:12:37,614 --> 00:12:40,257
No, he's in his element
playing the big producer,

301
00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:41,091
I can tell you.

302
00:12:41,092 --> 00:12:42,674
Ooh, he's loves it.

303
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:54,307
Right, everybody on stage
for the dance of the toys.

304
00:12:54,308 --> 00:12:55,497
Teddy bear, first.

305
00:12:55,498 --> 00:12:56,752
Teddy bear toy?

306
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,884
Mr. Tebbs, are you in there?

307
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:07,736
Of course I'm in here!

308
00:13:07,737 --> 00:13:09,647
Well, you've got your head on sideways.

309
00:13:10,482 --> 00:13:13,049
Well, I'm looking through the ear.

310
00:13:14,563 --> 00:13:16,074
You're supposed to
look through the mouth!

311
00:13:16,075 --> 00:13:18,091
I know, but when I
look through the mouth,

312
00:13:18,092 --> 00:13:21,151
I can't hear through the ear!

313
00:13:21,152 --> 00:13:23,451
Well, we'll find some way
of getting in touch with you.

314
00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:24,285
Come here.

315
00:13:24,285 --> 00:13:25,118
There.

316
00:13:25,119 --> 00:13:26,187
Now, over here.

317
00:13:26,188 --> 00:13:27,119
That's right.

318
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,542
Now, Little Boy Blue?

319
00:13:28,543 --> 00:13:30,031
Mr. Lucas, it's half past 6:00;

320
00:13:30,032 --> 00:13:33,053
I must check all these costumes.

321
00:13:38,996 --> 00:13:40,480
Mr. Lucas...

322
00:13:43,454 --> 00:13:47,621
Mr. Lucas, why has Little Boy
Blue got a plastic mac on?

323
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,936
Because Little Boy Blue's
tights are too tight.

324
00:13:53,245 --> 00:13:55,410
And his smock is too short.

325
00:13:55,411 --> 00:13:57,428
In fact, Little Boy Blue
is seriously contemplating

326
00:13:57,429 --> 00:13:58,871
on handing in his horn.

327
00:14:01,293 --> 00:14:02,429
I shall be the judge of that.

328
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:03,661
Let me have a look.

329
00:14:09,236 --> 00:14:11,057
You've done that before, haven't you?

330
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,352
Now, where's Little Girl Alice, Age Four?

331
00:14:25,474 --> 00:14:26,885
Mrs. Slocombe, what are you doing

332
00:14:26,886 --> 00:14:28,938
dressed as Little Girl Alice, Age Four?

333
00:14:28,939 --> 00:14:30,187
You're supposed to be Miss Muffet.

334
00:14:30,188 --> 00:14:33,347
Well, I couldn't get into
the Miss Muffet costume.

335
00:14:33,348 --> 00:14:35,588
What makes you think you got
into Little Alice, Age Four?

336
00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:40,469
Well, it's only supposed
to be make-believe.

337
00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:42,524
We're going to have to
stretch our imaginations.

338
00:14:43,719 --> 00:14:45,430
Now, where's Miss Muffet?

339
00:14:45,431 --> 00:14:46,431
Miss Muffet?

340
00:14:47,633 --> 00:14:49,008
Here I am.

341
00:14:53,987 --> 00:14:56,575
This spider's driving me bonkers.

342
00:14:58,889 --> 00:14:59,977
What's that for?

343
00:14:59,978 --> 00:15:01,403
To sit on.

344
00:15:01,404 --> 00:15:03,553
Miss Brahms, Miss
Muffet sits on a tuffet.

345
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,017
It's about that big.

346
00:15:05,018 --> 00:15:07,739
I'm not sitting on anything
that big in this skirt.

347
00:15:08,714 --> 00:15:12,179
They got a 12-inch
poof in soft furnishings.

348
00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:14,180
I thought he'd have been
in the novelty department.

349
00:15:16,301 --> 00:15:18,937
I need a second opinion on
Little Boy Blue's tights.

350
00:15:18,938 --> 00:15:21,105
Come on, show Miss Brahms.

351
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:24,202
I didn't see anything out of place.

352
00:15:26,786 --> 00:15:27,812
In these tights, there's no room

353
00:15:27,813 --> 00:15:29,191
for anything to be out of place.

354
00:15:30,026 --> 00:15:31,663
Right, right, now take that mac off.

355
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:32,793
Now, where's the tin soldier?

356
00:15:32,794 --> 00:15:34,127
Captain Peacock?

357
00:15:37,191 --> 00:15:39,189
Oh, that is nice.

358
00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:43,489
May I ask why Mr. Lucas
is wearing a plastic mac?

359
00:15:43,490 --> 00:15:44,490
Point taken.

360
00:15:47,367 --> 00:15:49,279
Props, Mr. Harmon!

361
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,948
Here you are, one horse coming up,

362
00:15:51,949 --> 00:15:54,436
compliments of the display department.

363
00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:56,820
Oh, isn't that sweet?

364
00:15:56,821 --> 00:16:01,724
Would you care to get
mounted, Captain Peacock?

365
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:05,925
You don't look at all comfortable.

366
00:16:05,926 --> 00:16:06,985
I'm not.

367
00:16:06,986 --> 00:16:08,740
Can you walk?

368
00:16:10,918 --> 00:16:12,227
Well, can you trot?

369
00:16:12,228 --> 00:16:14,186
Not without irreversible consequences.

370
00:16:15,399 --> 00:16:17,146
Mr. Harmon, this is not good enough.

371
00:16:17,147 --> 00:16:18,570
Well, display went
through a lotta trouble

372
00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:19,637
with that animal.

373
00:16:19,638 --> 00:16:21,242
Pull the reins.

374
00:16:34,481 --> 00:16:37,483
If you don't fancy that,
there's only one other thing.

375
00:16:37,484 --> 00:16:40,902
Warwick, bring up the
alternative transport!

376
00:16:40,903 --> 00:16:42,320
Come on, Warwick.

377
00:16:48,309 --> 00:16:50,146
Mr. Harmon, I can't have my tin soldier

378
00:16:50,147 --> 00:16:51,799
riding around on a sheepdog.

379
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,034
We'll lose all sense of reality.

380
00:16:54,035 --> 00:16:55,643
Well, there's only
one other alternative.

381
00:16:55,644 --> 00:16:56,622
In the toy department,

382
00:16:56,623 --> 00:16:59,111
there's a stick with
a horse's head handle.

383
00:16:59,112 --> 00:17:01,736
Warwick, ask Stafford to
bring it up, will you?

384
00:17:01,737 --> 00:17:03,699
See if you can tell him where it is.

385
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:06,700
In the meantime, practice with that.

386
00:17:10,273 --> 00:17:11,773
Captain Peacock.

387
00:17:18,327 --> 00:17:21,744
Well, you all look absolutely splendid.

388
00:17:22,636 --> 00:17:24,494
Mr. Lucas, I suppose there
is a very good reason

389
00:17:24,495 --> 00:17:28,162
why Little Boy Blue is
wearing a plastic mac.

390
00:17:28,163 --> 00:17:29,163
There is.

391
00:17:30,461 --> 00:17:31,739
All right, Mr. Rumbold, to the piano.

392
00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:32,573
Oh, right.

393
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:33,540
Now, we'll go from where

394
00:17:33,541 --> 00:17:35,447
Little Girl Alice, Age Four wakes up.

395
00:17:35,448 --> 00:17:37,781
Into the cot, Mrs. Slocombe.

396
00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:41,494
Push yourself in!

397
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:42,494
Get off!

398
00:17:46,219 --> 00:17:48,571
That's how they trap
hippopotamuses, you know.

399
00:17:48,572 --> 00:17:50,359
I'll smack your legs in a minute.

400
00:17:51,559 --> 00:17:54,033
Now, let me remind you of the plot.

401
00:17:54,034 --> 00:17:56,577
See, you're a four-year-old little girl

402
00:17:56,578 --> 00:18:01,233
and you're fast asleep, and
along comes the fairy prince,

403
00:18:01,234 --> 00:18:02,317
played by me.

404
00:18:14,619 --> 00:18:16,131
What have I got to lose?

405
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,424
As I was saying, the
fairy prince comes along

406
00:18:24,425 --> 00:18:26,826
and he scatters fairy dust over you.

407
00:18:26,827 --> 00:18:27,895
Mr. Harmon, the fairy dust.

408
00:18:27,896 --> 00:18:30,313
Oh yeah, here you are, W.H.

409
00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:34,311
Oh, that's magic, Mr. Harmon.

410
00:18:34,312 --> 00:18:36,987
Don't breathe it in,
otherwise you'll get silicosis.

411
00:18:39,355 --> 00:18:41,845
Now then, as I was
saying, now you're all toys

412
00:18:41,846 --> 00:18:45,041
scattered around the
nursery casually, you see.

413
00:18:45,042 --> 00:18:48,428
Yes, come along, be
casual about the nursery.

414
00:18:50,414 --> 00:18:53,400
Not as casual as that, Mr. Lucas.

415
00:18:53,401 --> 00:18:55,319
Captain Peacock, you've got to lull more.

416
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,570
Yes, like this.

417
00:18:57,697 --> 00:18:58,756
Lovely.

418
00:18:58,757 --> 00:19:03,754
And teddies sit with their
arms stretched straight out.

419
00:19:03,755 --> 00:19:06,576
I said teddies sit with their
arms stretched straight out!

420
00:19:07,499 --> 00:19:09,132
Good, Mr. Tebbs, very good.

421
00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:10,098
Very good indeed.

422
00:19:10,099 --> 00:19:12,966
Mr. Humphries, could I have a moment?

423
00:19:12,967 --> 00:19:14,081
What is it, Mr. Rumbold?

424
00:19:14,082 --> 00:19:17,864
Well, yes, when I sit
down, my egg rises up.

425
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:23,376
My face almost disappears.

426
00:19:23,377 --> 00:19:25,008
Well, we all know it's you.

427
00:19:25,009 --> 00:19:26,781
Yes, but I can't see the piano.

428
00:19:26,782 --> 00:19:28,365
Hang on a minute.

429
00:19:37,315 --> 00:19:39,298
You are hard-boiled, aren't you?

430
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:42,472
There.

431
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:43,567
Now then, we'll take it

432
00:19:43,568 --> 00:19:46,298
from the fairy prince's coming-on music.

433
00:19:48,414 --> 00:19:49,872
Hang on, hang on, hang on!

434
00:19:49,873 --> 00:19:52,086
I'm not in my coming-on position yet.

435
00:19:53,788 --> 00:19:55,142
Right, music!

436
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,170
Hey, hang on, hang on, hang on!

437
00:19:57,171 --> 00:19:58,598
Just a minute, just a
minute, just a minute.

438
00:19:58,599 --> 00:20:00,016
What is it now?

439
00:20:01,883 --> 00:20:03,681
We're all toys in the nursery, right?

440
00:20:03,682 --> 00:20:04,515
Right.

441
00:20:04,516 --> 00:20:06,794
And we don't wake up until you sprinkle

442
00:20:06,795 --> 00:20:09,599
the fairy dust over Little
Alice, Age Four here,

443
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,327
who then wakes up, winds us all up, right?

444
00:20:12,328 --> 00:20:14,044
Correct, Mr. Lucas.

445
00:20:14,045 --> 00:20:15,577
How come the egg is already awake

446
00:20:15,578 --> 00:20:18,648
to play the entrance
music for the fairy queen?

447
00:20:18,649 --> 00:20:19,829
Fairy prince.

448
00:20:23,772 --> 00:20:26,189
Because the egg is not a toy.

449
00:20:28,013 --> 00:20:30,443
I don't wanna be difficult,

450
00:20:30,444 --> 00:20:33,269
but you keep eggs in the
kitchen, not in the nursery.

451
00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:34,549
He's quite right.

452
00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:35,383
Yes.

453
00:20:35,384 --> 00:20:38,291
Well, the noise from the
refrigerator kept him awake,

454
00:20:38,292 --> 00:20:42,633
so he came into the
nursery to play the piano.

455
00:20:42,634 --> 00:20:47,266
How did the egg get down off
the fridge without breaking?

456
00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:50,761
Because the housemaid dropped
a tea towel on the floor

457
00:20:50,762 --> 00:20:53,587
and, being hard-boiled, it bounced.

458
00:20:53,588 --> 00:20:54,872
Does that satisfy you?

459
00:20:54,873 --> 00:20:57,994
I hope it does, 'cause the
blood's rushing to my head.

460
00:20:57,995 --> 00:20:59,300
Can we proceed?

461
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:00,301
Right!

462
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:01,302
Music!

463
00:21:26,208 --> 00:21:28,936
Mr. Humphries, are you
short-sighted or something?

464
00:21:28,937 --> 00:21:29,908
Why?

465
00:21:29,909 --> 00:21:31,822
Well, you've been past my cot twice

466
00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:34,336
and I'm still waiting for the fairy dust.

467
00:21:34,337 --> 00:21:36,197
I've got to work up to it!

468
00:21:36,198 --> 00:21:37,198
Music!

469
00:21:46,015 --> 00:21:48,289
Serves you right for going to
sleep with your mouth open.

470
00:21:49,124 --> 00:21:51,505
Now, we'll take it from
the waking-up music.

471
00:22:07,084 --> 00:22:09,571
Would you mind looking the other way?

472
00:22:09,572 --> 00:22:11,015
Well, it's only the fairy prince.

473
00:22:11,016 --> 00:22:12,817
Yes, and in a minute, he's
going to turn into a frog

474
00:22:12,818 --> 00:22:14,309
to keep himself out of mischief.

475
00:22:15,144 --> 00:22:18,659
Now, you wind up all the
toys, soldier toy first.

476
00:22:22,796 --> 00:22:24,735
Hang on, hang on.

477
00:22:24,736 --> 00:22:26,325
Where's his key?

478
00:22:26,326 --> 00:22:28,507
You have to pretend that he's got a key.

479
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:36,727
Mrs. Slocombe, he's not a 27 bus.

480
00:22:40,218 --> 00:22:42,928
Good, that's right.

481
00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:43,762
Lovely.

482
00:22:43,763 --> 00:22:46,025
Now, show surprise.

483
00:22:46,026 --> 00:22:47,193
And music!

484
00:22:59,104 --> 00:23:00,521
Now you join him.

485
00:23:17,624 --> 00:23:19,851
He hasn't got a very
strong spring, has he?

486
00:23:19,852 --> 00:23:21,821
Does he have to run down here?

487
00:23:21,822 --> 00:23:24,708
He runs down wherever
his spring runs down.

488
00:23:24,709 --> 00:23:26,928
Right, Mrs. Slocombe, now
all the rest of the toys,

489
00:23:26,929 --> 00:23:28,284
teddy next, come along.

490
00:23:31,515 --> 00:23:33,135
Lovely, wind him up.

491
00:23:33,136 --> 00:23:36,030
And teddy springs to life.

492
00:23:40,683 --> 00:23:42,815
I think he's asleep.

493
00:23:42,816 --> 00:23:45,323
I can hear him snoring
through the ear hole.

494
00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:48,831
Give him a shot of your magic dust.

495
00:23:48,832 --> 00:23:51,212
Mr. Tebbs, are you free?

496
00:23:55,395 --> 00:23:58,812
Be careful.

497
00:24:13,572 --> 00:24:15,106
Now then, Little Boy Blue.

498
00:24:15,107 --> 00:24:17,233
Look at, do I have to wind everybody up?

499
00:24:17,234 --> 00:24:18,581
It's gonna take forever.

500
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:20,365
Well, that's because you
know what's going to happen.

501
00:24:20,366 --> 00:24:22,622
But to the audience, it's magic.

502
00:24:23,626 --> 00:24:24,944
Come along.

503
00:24:24,945 --> 00:24:26,085
Now, wind him up.

504
00:24:26,086 --> 00:24:27,318
Show surprise.

505
00:24:28,152 --> 00:24:29,152
Good!

506
00:24:30,322 --> 00:24:33,107
Mr. Lucas.

507
00:24:33,108 --> 00:24:35,081
You're clockwork, not drunk.

508
00:24:35,992 --> 00:24:37,085
Music!

509
00:24:49,826 --> 00:24:51,865
If he's gonna muck
about, I'm not playing.

510
00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:55,241
Now, go over to Miss Muffet
and wind her up, that's right.

511
00:24:56,763 --> 00:24:58,203
Wind away.

512
00:24:58,204 --> 00:24:59,326
Show surprise.

513
00:25:00,161 --> 00:25:03,324
Now, Little Miss Muffet
dances with Little Boy Blue.

514
00:25:03,325 --> 00:25:04,325
Music!

515
00:25:11,609 --> 00:25:12,761
Now you join them.

516
00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:14,196
That's right, in the middle.

517
00:25:14,197 --> 00:25:17,280
And I dash round with the fairy dust.

518
00:25:20,701 --> 00:25:23,500
And we all join together
for the last chorus.

519
00:25:49,463 --> 00:25:50,669
All right!

520
00:25:50,670 --> 00:25:51,849
That was the commissionaire.

521
00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:54,173
The professional cabaret's
arrived, they're on their way up.

522
00:25:54,174 --> 00:25:56,174
Oh, isn't this exciting?

523
00:25:56,175 --> 00:26:00,118
You won't think so when
you see what they're doing.

524
00:26:07,872 --> 00:26:09,810
They're all the same as us.

525
00:26:09,811 --> 00:26:11,341
Not exactly the same, mush.

526
00:26:13,737 --> 00:26:14,928
Well, what are we going to do?

527
00:26:14,929 --> 00:26:17,023
We can't all the Ballet of the Toys.

528
00:26:17,024 --> 00:26:18,663
Well, we'll have to do
what we did last year.

529
00:26:18,664 --> 00:26:19,820
Well, we've only got
a couple of minutes.

530
00:26:19,830 --> 00:26:20,999
We're the first turn!

531
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,611
Mr. Lucas, you're
forgetting the fairy dust.

532
00:26:39,527 --> 00:26:42,074
♫ Steppin' out with my baby

533
00:26:42,075 --> 00:26:44,420
♫ Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right

534
00:26:44,421 --> 00:26:47,039
♫ It's for sure, not for maybe

535
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,337
♫ That I'm all dressed up tonight

536
00:26:49,338 --> 00:26:51,999
♫ Steppin' out with my honey

537
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,298
♫ Can't be bad to feel so good

538
00:26:54,299 --> 00:26:56,973
♫ Never felt quite so sunny

539
00:26:56,974 --> 00:26:58,933
♫ And I keep on knockin' wood

540
00:26:58,934 --> 00:27:03,914
♫ There'll be smooth sailin'
'cause I'm trimmin' my sails

541
00:27:03,915 --> 00:27:07,376
♫ In my top hat and my
white tie and my tails

542
00:27:07,377 --> 00:27:08,990
Silver lame, actually.

543
00:27:08,991 --> 00:27:11,547
♫ Steppin' out with my baby

544
00:27:11,548 --> 00:27:13,876
♫ Can't be bad 'cause he's in right

545
00:27:13,877 --> 00:27:16,589
♫ Ask me when will the day be

546
00:27:16,590 --> 00:27:18,684
♫ The big day may be tonight

547
00:27:18,685 --> 00:27:23,368
♫ There's smooth sailin'
'cause I'm trimmin' my sails

548
00:27:23,369 --> 00:27:27,536
♫ In my top hat and my
white tie and my tails

549
00:27:28,583 --> 00:27:31,249
♫ Steppin' out with my baby

550
00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:33,653
♫ Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right

551
00:27:33,654 --> 00:27:36,397
♫ Ask me when will the day be

552
00:27:36,398 --> 00:27:40,148
♫ The big day may be tonight

553
00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:49,722
♫ That dripping bread, dripping

554
00:27:49,723 --> 00:27:51,167
♫ That's the stuff for me

555
00:27:51,168 --> 00:27:52,921
♫ You could see me every day

556
00:27:52,922 --> 00:27:54,530
♫ Staring in the way

557
00:27:54,531 --> 00:27:56,074
♫ I lick this off except for me

558
00:27:56,075 --> 00:27:57,810
♫ As I lick it, simply dripping

559
00:27:57,811 --> 00:27:59,420
♫ A love for bread is
bigger than your head

560
00:27:59,421 --> 00:28:02,956
♫ And some drip, drip, dripping, dripping

561
00:28:17,568 --> 00:28:20,609
♫ Happy birthday to you

562
00:28:20,610 --> 00:28:23,641
♫ Happy birthday to you

563
00:28:23,642 --> 00:28:27,088
♫ Happy birthday Mr. Grace

564
00:28:27,089 --> 00:28:30,422
♫ Happy birthday to you

565
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:43,320
corrected by 7kozlov
 - www.myfbs.ru -

566
00:28:45,221 --> 00:28:48,142
♫ Ground floor: Perfumery,
stationery, and leather goods

567
00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:49,595
♫ Wigs and haberdashery

568
00:28:49,596 --> 00:28:53,679
♫ Kitchenware and food, going up

569
00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:59,769
♫ First floor: Telephones,
gents ready-made suits

570
00:28:59,770 --> 00:29:03,937
♫ Shirts, socks, ties, hats,
underwear and shoes, going up

571
00:29:08,430 --> 00:29:11,332
♫ Second floor: Carpets,
travel goods and bedding

572
00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:12,881
♫ Material, soft furnishings

573
00:29:12,882 --> 00:29:17,049
♫ Restaurant and teas, going down

574
00:29:19,963 --> 00:29:22,911
♫ First floor: Telephones,
gents ready-made suits

575
00:29:22,912 --> 00:29:27,079
♫ Shirts, socks, ties, hats,
underwear, and shoes, going up